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Trailer Porn - Amazons, Marvel Threesomes and Supercharged Storms

Sunday, December 13, 2015Aaron Reese

It's been said one too many times, that 2016 is the year of the geek. And tbh theres some profound truth there. Okay, not profound, but enough truth to make the collective geek community do what they do best, geek the f*ck out! Over the last three weeks, we've been hit with not one, not two, but three NEW trailers for Captain America: Civil War, Batman v Superman and X-Men: Apocalypse. That's not including the teasers for the Suicide Squad and Deadpool. Being the geek goddess that I am, I've taken a further look into my favorite moments of each trailer.

C I V I L  W A R 

Let's start with arguably the best trailer out of the bunch, Captain America: Civil War. I'll spare you the rereading of the plot synopsis, but there are a few bits that demands your attention here. Shall I lay it out in gifs? 



1. I hate to say it, but these are your 2016 Squad Goals. Also, peep Wanda lifting off in the background. I'm here for all of this, even Hawkeye's tired ass sprint. {Insert Kermit/tea meme here}



2. T'CHALLA WHAT'S GUUD?! 



3. I don't think I've been more elated for a superhero threesome of this variety. This beatdown was catalyst for the YASSSS chorus heard around the world.  



4.Honorable mention for Falcon showing you girls how to slide in them DMs. (Sorry, I just went level 10 ratchet on you guys...) 

B A T M A N  V  S U P E R M A N 

Next up Batman v Superman. I'm still quite skeptical of this one, but there was one moment that made me collectively loose it. Diana. Prince.

 
Look at her! D isn't here for your sh*t- and lets not forget she singled handedly saved both Bats and Superman at this moment.  


And as if that wasn't enough, she takes the forefront stance in the middle of the DC trilogy. ZOMGG!  Admittedly, I'm not of the DC fantheon, but this is enough to make any comics geek scream. You're seeing three of the oldest heroes in comic history finally standing side-by-side as equals. Not to mention a welcomed addition to the small catalogue of on-screen female superheroes. Slay, Diana!

X - M E N  A P O C A L Y P S E

Lastly.....X-Men: Apocalypse! 

X-Men: Apocalypse hasn't revealed much to us...yet! This may not be a bad thing, as Apocalypse is out of his Ivan Oooze stages. The trailer promises some massive destructive without giving too much away.



1. Alright, Alexandra you're making me a believer. Storm's looking like she's ready to throw these lightning blows. Do I have to tell you I'm here for it? I don't, right? Like, I assumed you knew this before reading this post.  


2. Young Muties! Seeing teen Jean & Scott certainly tugs on the heart strings, unlike those awful rubber black uniforms. What sentinel warehouse do we have to burn to get some color in these movies?! 


3. Lastly, Xavier goes bald. Yes. YUS. Yas!


Needless to say there's a lot to be excited for 2016! But as a fanboy that respects all fandoms, I have to acknowledge, it's okay to be excited for super flicks outside of your fandom. The excellence of these films will only make your comic house of choice worker harder to please you as a fan! So root for Batman v Superman and Captain America! No one wants to see a shitty blockbuster. And who are you kidding, you're seeing all three right? 


No? Oh okay... 




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